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Jury Duty! [Sep. 2nd, 2004|09:21 am]

I was summoned for J-Duty and I missed it yesterday because I forgot about it. Typical me. However, I called this morning to recieve my bitching and fine or jailtime or whatever, and g-what, we were all cancelled anyway, and I didn't have to go. Ha! LUCK! HAHAHA!

Not that I didn't want to perform my civil duty or anything. But I have class and cannot miss this semester.

Family Guy is tout sweet. "Meg, for the first four years of your life I thought you were a housecat."

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Re: You are not your fucking khackis! [Aug. 31st, 2004|11:07 pm]
[Current Mood |optimisticoptimistic]

This is a response to a discussion I'm having over at iamzeeman's journal. Check out the original here:


First, let's address the enviro-scare. I'm not a scientist, but I took a moment to research on google and read a synopsis-like seminar article on it. Here's the link:


Here's what I read about. The "Dead-Zone" (wonderful name) is a condition called hypoxia. It is true that bottom dwelling organisms die (suffocate) under this condition and fish leave the area. However, it is not due merely to herbicides, pesticides, etc. It is actually a natural phenomena that occurs at the basin of a river. Over the last hundred years it has gotten worse, because of the amount of nitrate entering the basin. This nitrate increase can be due to many factors. Fertilizers are one. Others include drought, flood, and digging ditches and creating dams and other farming factors. That's why it's been increasing (theoretically, they didn't actually collect data until the 70's--and therefore cannot currently predict long term trends). The seminar text I read recommended a lot of things to curtail this problem--and I don't think I read one concerning pesticides. Mostly, they talked about adding wetlands to along the river to help absorb the nitrate in the water, as they naturally do.

So it seems the world's agricultural system is not being poisoned. In fact, it's not the pesticides themselves killing organisms, it's the elevated level of a natural phenomena (caused by nitrate, SOME of which is increased by pesticides), as explained in better detail on that site. Interesting read.

Either way, enviro-scares are common and usually debunked. Even if they're not scares (like oil), we will find a way to live through them. Technology will probably be the tool, too. We've set out to leave the earth into space, we've fed millions because of one man and genetically engineered food, and much more. People have been yelling about the end of the world forever, and it simply hasn't happened. Why believe now that someone else is yelling?

Next, on revolution. Expressing issues with our current system does not mean advocating anarchy. Yes, I did make a comment about revolution, but I did not elaborate. You also should discern my comments from iamzeeman's comments, as he began the original discussion and spoke more of overthrow than I did. I was mostly commenting about how regardless of whether or not we needed change (and I do think we need some), our society to too apathetic to even attempt it.

Your idea about revolution, reverting back to a simpler community (or simply self-sufficient individuals?) is nice and sounds really cool, but it's immature in practice. You seem to view the government as three ominous guys in dark suits, who impose on us everyday. There are arguments to be made for that, I will say. However, to say that we need to clean up our own streets and pick up our own trash is to say that we don't already have people in our community doing just that. The government is not a machine (though through bureaucracy it sometimes behaves like one); there are real people behind it.

The second problem with your ideal is that we cannot be self-sufficient and be as advanced as we are today. To do that, everyone would have to be able to do everything. Meaning I would have to be a brain surgeon, computer programmer, electrician, soldier (oh, yeah, they'll still be needed.), carpenter, architect, etc, etc, etc.

There is simply no way. Not even a small community (say a few hundred) could support that necessarily. To say nothing of who or how this mass education in everything would be supported or executed.

Finally, your ideal would be anarchy. Any sort of organization of the community would become government, because that's what government is. Of course, in anarchy life is short, painful, and often fruitless. Check out the conditions of some of those "good ole times," such as the old west, where people lived off the land more, but had gangs and outlaws running wild where there was less government. The time in Greece where it was broken into little communities, bereft of a single king or even group of rulers, is called the Dark Age (partly for its living conditions, partly because there was no written language). It's not impossible for people to live self-sufficiently (to a point, anyway), but it's rather unlikely, considering there would be lawlessness, gaping medical needs left unfulfilled, and probably, eventually, the absence of electricity, mass transportation, urban areas (that were habitable), and other modern advances and conveniences.

Ultimately, I'm not saying the current government is great. However, to fix any problems I have with it, I would look first to revising our current system, rather than throwing it out and heading towards an extreme. Just because democracy and capitalism isn't working in every area, for everyone (in practice, not talking about theory), doesn't mean we head towards anarchy, communism, or some other theoretical extreme. It sounds nice to talk about, but when you're infected with a curable disease and the "specialist" you need you disregarded years ago because you thought you could do it yourself... well, we don't live to over a hundred now because of reverting society--it's because of advancement.

The idea of the tribal man... is just that, an idea. Some people attach some spiritual mumbo jumbo to it, like they're in touch with nature or something, but others like myself just see a miserable existence and, were it to exist today, needless suffering.
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Hey I did something new! [Aug. 30th, 2004|12:46 pm]
I got a notice that this guy had replied to a post I wrote around six months ago, so I wasted fifteen minutes or so replying when I should have been studying. Oh well. He purports to start a revolution by advocating that your start your own garden.

I read his bio, he's an artist. Surprise.

Here's the link to my reply.


As for me, I might try to start posting again (obviously it's been awhile)--but I knew when I started this that I wouldn't have the motivation to keep it going.

Go see Garden State, but don't expect too much. Go see Coffee and Cigarette, and expect to pine for nicotine afterwards. Bill Murray is the god of subtle funny.

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Buggered [Apr. 26th, 2004|10:29 pm]
[Current Mood |Buggered]

I am just buggered. I do not want to write my report! I do not want to learn anymore french! I don't even want to draw my final project!

I honestly believe I have been burnt out on college ever since last year. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point I started hating this college thing. I don't like being graded, I don't like having to do bureaucratic BS for classes, and I don't like attempting to learn things that I'm going to forget when I leave (basically, anything that's not philosophy or writing).

At this point, I think the universities taught me most of what it will about writing. I'm hoping that the higher level courses I'm going to take will offer something, and I believe they will, but I still think that I have the skills to do the job NOW--and it's due in part to the large amount of writing I've ALREADY done for this college thing.

Maybe I'm just being egotistical. I dunno. But the whole mindset of college, the whole balancing of four different ways of thinking at once (basically four classes) that forces you to cram, forces you to BS (if you have such a talent) and forces you to hate learning--it's not that I don't think a well-rounded education isn't worth something, it's just that there's such a pressure to finish ASAP so you can start making money that it seems like a lot of "learning" isn't going to stick once you're finished.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but look forware to the day when I have set 9-5 and my mind is on one subject: getting the job done. Sure, it'll be a lot more work than one classload, and I won't be able to procrastinate on things so much, but at least I'll have to incentive to make money, I won't be a burden on my parents, and I won't be required to sit and listen to as many lectures where I get real bored real fast. Plus, I'll have a reason NOT to stay up until three in the morning.

Besides, life right now seems to be measured in two things: during college and after college. I can't start to accumulate posessions like cars or houses until I have a firm job, which is AFTER college. I don't know where I'll be in a year because it's AFTER college. I can't work fulltime because I'm IN college. I can't tell people how I'm accomplishing something new because for the past four years it's this line "Oh, I'm still in college studying to get my degrees in english and philosophy." I CAN change my idea about what I'll do with those degrees, or after those degrees, but it's all speculation. Life is so much about chance that I really don't know what I'll be doing, especially since I can do so much (or not so much, depending on your way of thinking) with this education.

So, could I do law school? Sure. I have the smarts. Do I want to subject myself to more of this stuff for another three years, and above that stuff that's harder than this is? Not really.

But who knows. Maybe I'll get tired of making less than 50,000 a year and decide to go the extra mile. Course, I'll be paying off that extra mile until I'm closer to retirement than entry level, but hey, at least I could say I did it.

Back to the damn report. I should just be able to turn in all the work I did this semester and let that speak for me, instead of having to write about how I write...

Oh, yeah, and maybe someday I'll get back to regularly updating this journal with creative and entertaining stuff. I said I wasn't going to use it to rant, and BAM, look what I did! Ha!
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Probably reprinted without permission [Apr. 20th, 2004|05:55 pm]
[Current Mood |uncomfortableuncomfortable]

This is a rather disturbing article I found on MSN. I did a report on Columbine in my senior year at highschool, and when I attempted to define a cause (or causes) for the massacre, I was completely stumped. I just said it was probably a mixture of many causes. I was off, by far, but kudos to me for knowing then that it certainly wasn't MaRyLiN MaNsOn, or any music or television that would cause kids to murder. Here's the link if you want to read it where it was originally posted: http://slate.msn.com/id/2099203/?GT1=3256

The Depressive and the Psychopath
At last we know why the Columbine killers did it.

By Dave Cullen
Posted Tuesday, April 20, 2004, at 8:59 AM PT

Five years ago today, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold murdered their classmates and teachers at Columbine High School. Most Americans have reached one of two wrong conclusions about why they did it. The first conclusion is that the pair of supposed "Trench Coat Mafia outcasts" were taking revenge against the bullies who had made school miserable for them. The second conclusion is that the massacre was inexplicable: We can never understand what drove them to such horrific violence.

But the FBI and its team of psychiatrists and psychologists have reached an entirely different conclusion. They believe they know why Harris and Klebold killed, and their explanation is both more reassuring and more troubling than our misguided conclusions. Three months after the massacre, the FBI convened a summit in Leesburg, Va., that included world-renowned mental health experts, including Michigan State University psychiatrist Dr. Frank Ochberg, as well as Supervisory Special Agent Dwayne Fuselier, the FBI's lead Columbine investigator and a clinical psychologist. Fuselier and Ochberg share their conclusions publicly here for the first time.

The first steps to understanding Columbine, they say, are to forget the popular narrative about the jocks, Goths, and Trenchcoat Mafia—click here to read more about Columbine's myths—and to abandon the core idea that Columbine was simply a school shooting. We can't understand why they did it until we understand what they were doing.

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the magnificent redress [Apr. 8th, 2004|11:47 am]
[Current Mood |busy]
[Listening to |Massive Attack - Protection]

Beginning of a recent writing assignment that I started, stopped, started again, and now haven't finished.

“I really like this, this beer. I think I could get used to this. It’s so much better than that other stuff. Yeah, I think I’ll get this from now on.” Malcolm nodded at Harry, but returned his look to the table. Another person sitting with them chimed in about the beer, and Malcolm let his thoughts drift.
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He ---fuck this----


Malcolm attempted to look like he was apart of the conversation as he scooted his chair over to the table behind him. No one acted like they noticed at first; if this kept up, he would have to shrink back to his own table and would look like an idiot. He waited to catch eye contact with someone. Malcolm gave a funny grin as Harry met his eyes.
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--Okay, not finished yet, but I like the second start better. And for some reason, I can never find the "c" key. I always type things like sexond, or xat, or xunt (haha), or other c words. Blah!
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Attack! Attach! [Apr. 1st, 2004|02:55 am]
[Current Mood |wistful (is that a word?)]
[Listening to |DMB "Two Step"]

Hey my love do you believe that we might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this,
Our flesh and blood
It ties you and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
Things we cannot change

Yes, I meant to spell "attack" that way the second time around.

I think spring is hitting, I'm feeling all romantic and lovey-dovey and all that other crap. Argh! I just want to kick myself when this happens. It's like, suddenly everything and everyone (okay only guys, and only people I don't know, etc etc covered my bases) is cute in their own way and then there's this pain in my stomach and an attack of the "ooohhh." and such.

At least I'm relatively no longer attracted to that one guy. And I mean the ONE part about that.

There was this guy that came to the drag show who I used to have a crush on... he seems nice, hopefully I'll see him soon sometime. I probably shouldn't look to meet people at drag shows though (no, I'm not talking about the car shows...). Bad luck with all the crazy feminiinnnittty going around. Why did I ever agree to work that show again? Oh--there was free pizza, that's right.

I was just now trying to think up things that I would like to hear a future lover say to me... and all I could come up with were incredibly cliche things. Then I had this image hit me, just a pair of eyes. I mean, they were attached to a face and not like sitting in the palm of my hand or anything (gross)--but it was like that movie (eternal sunshine) where everything else is blurred cause it's relatively useless detail.

So yeah, this pair of eyes. THAT's what I want. Just looking at someone, and knowing all these other cliche things could be said, or might be said, or maybe I don't know what I'm doing and there's a crazy anticipation or nervousness or I feel like I'm about to boot.... But I just want to feel something during a moment of unplanned silence staring into someone else's eyes.

Also, I'd like to experience a "meet-cute." Those things they used to describe all those wacky situations that Sandra Bullock and nameless machismo fell into in a movie. Now, I want nothing to do with Sandra Bullock, but would love to experience a spontaneous meet-cute. What kind exactly? I dunno--one that ends in a kiss would be cool, those always seem to be the best ones.

Anyone else get this way in the spring? At least when summer hits I'll just feel sweaty.
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Welcome to the Human Race! [Mar. 27th, 2004|12:19 am]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

I hadn't mentioned this yet, but everyone go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I think it's the best movie of the year, and will continue to be until the end of the year. Soundtrack (really it's a score) was great, also, with a good score and a few great songs (by Beck, ELO).

Also, I discovered the library rents TV on DVD. For Free! YEah! You just have to deal with sorta white trashy people stuffing their arms full of VHS tapes. Anyway, tonight a friend and I gorged ourselves on random episodes of ST:DS9, ST:TNG, the Twilight Zone, the X-Files, and Family Guy! It was a good, reality free (and reality television free) night.

Well, I'm off to vedgitate (spel?) some more.

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BEWARE... (that's it, there's really nothing behind the curtain) [Mar. 26th, 2004|01:59 am]
[Current Mood |thankfully not medicated like the rest of the world.]

Not that there's anything wrong with mood medication.

I just finished the book "The Culture of Fear" by Barry Glassner.

Excellent! Great book, very informative. It's about how our culture is afraid of the wrong things, and how the media are mucho irresponsible when it comes to the public and their reporting. Gulf War Syndrome, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, husbands as major domestic abuse victims, child-napping pedophiles, child-porn rings, killer vaccines, killer kids, killer black men, killer halloween candy, k-razy teen moms, crack babies, flesh-eating bacteria, leaking breast implants... ETC ETC ETC!

All of the above are either rare happenings, nonexistent, or simply hyperboled by the press. Killer kids? Still a rarity, even after Columbine (but why are there more than there used to be?... Hmm.... is it rock music or media violence? Single moms? Less parental authority? NO NO NO! Try the same reason successful suicides have risen in this country--better access to handguns.) GWS and MCS (listed in name above)? Among the REAL experts, agreed to be nonexistent. Husband-abuse? Women hit men roughly as much as men hit women--but it hurts a lot more coming from men (who are usually also the aggressors), and typically when wives kill husbands, it's only after years of abuse.

What about child-porn rings and kidnapping pedos? They're all over the news AND on all the sweeps-nabbing cop television shows--


Typical sweeps TV-script for any cop show.

Cop: I'll get you, you sick, twisted, f*cked up, crazy, loony, mother f*cking AHHGGGGGG DIE! pervert.

Pervert: You don't know! You don't know! You have NO IDEA. Do you really want in our world?

Cop: You still make me sick. *sPAT*

Perv: She was worth every--

Cop: You shut your mouth!

(Repeat, with slight variations, for the rest of the hour. Show at least one cop go home to his kids and look at them longingly--but with concern!--and at the end of the show, after showing the Pervert's glaringly insane eyes, cut to some VAGUE UNRELATED STATISTIC about how so many million children per year are registered as missing from the Eff Bee Eye) End Sidebar

-So, yeah, they're all over television, so why shouldn't we worry? Isn't there really a large network of sick perverts trading pictures of their bold exploits with our beloved sons and daughters?

...NO! Well, not really. Yes, there has been discovered an abundance of child porn on the net--but most was from the FBI attempting to bait more perverts! And as for the child-nabbing... most missing children are either runaways or abducted by a family member. Huh. Yeah, we freak often over practically nothing. Children are much, much more likely to be harmed some way or another in their own home, by their own parents, than by a stranger. Sounds k-rappy, right? Well, maybe that's why we love to hear about strangers fucking with us, for once, instead of the large mound of parental abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse that is much more present.

Halloween candy? You know, the razor-blade in the apple? Not one instance of it ever happening. Nope, not one. There were two cases of family members poisioning their own childrens candy (one for a cover up of a four-year-olds mistaken heroin overdose--he found his Uncles stash--, and the other for insurance money). So, yes, that's a lot of wasted tax dollars on "check-up" spots, all in the name of SAFTEY.

Hey, I love safety as much as the next guy, but not when it stems from stupidity--and may even result in greater danger. Consider the vaccine scares of the 90's. Supposedly the small-pox and other vaccines posed great risk to harming, maybe even killing, children. Because of this ignorance (basically a few--very few--women with deformed or dead children forming organizations and suckling the media in the face of mounds of opposing scientific evidence)---because of this, we came close to having a public panic and having a large portion of the population at risk for these long though dead diseases. Then we would've had thousands of children really dying because of the diseases these vaccines protected against. This actually happened in Japan after a public panic about vaccines--they didn't vacinate, and thousands of children died as a result.

Sadly, here in the US it was probably the media's own attention defecit disorder that stopped it from ever getting dangerously huge (the public forgets quickly in the face of a new scare), and even though this subject is brought up again and again, it never has quite the same effect as the first few times.

All this is contained in that book, and it's very relevant to today in discussion of our president and Mr. Rumsfeld and the rest of the fear-mongering government. Terrorism is a reality, has been forever, but it's not something Americans have to worry that much about. Likelihood of being involved in a terrorist attack in the years 2000 and 2002? Low enough that it's considered zero. In the year 2001? Greater than your chance of winning the lottery or being struck by lightening, I think like over one in a million, probably more. I could be off in that last number, but basically my point is that it was so great that we wouldn't worry about it, and certainly we're much safer than many other countries.

People, we're not doing that bad! Well, at least, risk-wise. Now, we are, as a country, lying and being unethical and killing thousands in the hidden name of oil interests, or at least our representative leader is.

Let's put truthful politicians in office, let's read and listen to and watch truthful media news (albiet there isn't much), let's not panic and let's calm those who do. Let's bombard reporters with letters and insults everytime they lie to us or don't do a good job of reporting (by leaving out vital information in the name of scaring people).

Let's not just sit around like scared little kittens and jump everytime we see barbara walters raise her eyebrows or Dan Rathers (rather not, thankyew) glare his eyes. Instead, let's just laugh at them. And stop watching. Maybe a lack of ratings will get 'em to put more effort in their craft.

And remember, you can miss that new Dateline, your life doesn't depend on watching it. And NO, THE LOCAL NEWS IS NEVER GOING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

Yeah, I'm done ranting for now.
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I'm back, peeps! [Mar. 18th, 2004|12:34 pm]
[Current Mood |optimisticoptimistic]

What’s WRONG?
and What’s RIGHT? with the Gay Community?

An editorial article
by David Hunter

Right now, someone in Fort Wayne is cursing the entire gay community for all it’s worth. Elsewhere, someone is counting the days until they leave home in desperate anticipation of exploring a newfound community.

Both are surprising, considering that it’s near impossible to pen a clear definition of the gay community in Fort Wayne. If there were a word that even came close to describing it, that word would be “segregated.”Read MoreCollapse )

This was an article I wrote for a new periodical called "Progress," which is a GLBT opinion paper, sorta. Eventually, I hope it'll be a funded newspaper, but we'll see. I'm the only writer for it right now, so... yeah, it won't be a long periodical for at least the first few issues. I wish I could show you the grapic I made, but I can't post pictures here.

BTW, I'm doing this under the umbrella of EREN Publications. EREN stands for Equal Rights Education Network. Interestingly enough, recently when I said I wrote for EREN publications, they person thought I said ARYAN publications, and they thought I was into the "master race," and all that shit. I've never seen someone more horrified! I corrected them, of course, but I don't know how much better it got when I told them I worked for a gay organization.
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